Sometimes you just want to check out. I don't mean suicide or drugs or even grave depression. I mean more of the nagging feeling that everything is going wrong, you can't catch a break, you can't find your center, every smile is forced. It's not getting up on the wrong side of the bed; it's not wanting to get out of bed.
There's an old saying that goes something like this:
Sometimes the only way to learn to fly involves being pushed off a cliff.
That's the way I'm feeling these days. I so want to fly. I want to soar. I'm just not sure how. (I'm also not sure I've actually hit the edge of the cliff yet.)
Then I feel incredible guilt at the selfishness of these thoughts.
I'm not loving these extremes. Yet, I am clinging to my belief that I will fly again.
I do not recommend the combination of quitting smoking, finalizing a divorce and job hunting.
If you're going to go-go big! Just keep playing with that straw-your buddy
ReplyDeleteI shredded a lot of napkins after I quit smoking...a LOT of napkins. Then one day, I didn't need to do that anymore. And I also did not want to smoke. It felt like quite an accomplishment! I saw Sandy today, and she said it's been 3 weeks without. I'm so excited for you! Just read 'Learning to fly',, and I do believe you WILL fly, soaring off the cliff! Hang in there sister, love Debbie
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