Is your marriage certificate just a piece of paper? If so, is your divorce decree just another one? I've had people make comments of that sort to me and truthfully, I don't agree. I appreciate the legalities involved but I also know the emotional importance of both.
I am back with my ex-husband -- the love of my life. For both of us, it represents exactly what the title of this blog post says. We are giving up, giving in and finding home again. And, redefining it. We are two people in various stages of mid life embracing our past and determined to celebrate the good parts while not repeating the bad parts. I met this man when I was 26 and married him when I was 29. He has been my husband, lover and friend for most of my adult life.
Perhaps this marriage had to run into a ditch for us both to realize what we have and what we screwed up. I'm not big on trying to figure out God's plan -- I'm not that smart. But with hindsight, I can see we needed the break to appreciate what we had and what we have found again.
A couple of years ago, we were at a lake cottage with friends. Gabby on his lap and all of us having fun on the pier. We will do that again next weekend but oh how we have grown and changed.
I'm giving up. I'm giving up things like pride, my control-freak tendencies and my judgemental ways when he says or does something I don't agree with. I'm giving in. Giving in to the pure, raw feeling that says to me, "This is right."
I'm home.
