Pop Goes Reality

One of the greatest gifts that has been bestowed on me during this separation and divorce thing is a reconnection with an old friend. Before I take this too far and someone goes, "Whoa! I invited you over, I said you could stay here, I bought you a drink," let me say thank you and allow me to single out one friend among many.

She is one of my goldies but unlike the other two, I have not been a part of her life for oh so many years. I was not there as her children were growing and I did not call her with my life milestones. We cannot make up that time.

But just like with my other goldies, she gets me. We forgive a lot. Our expectations in this friendship are pretty damn high but our expectations of what the others should do with their choices in life are amazingly lenient. I have made the sad mistake of thinking other people in my life had earned this privilege (or I had earned it with them) but it is not true.

Sometimes people like to point out the errors of my ways. Let's be honest. Some days I'm more open to that than others. I might start blubbering and say, "Oh my gosh, you're right -- I completely messed that up!" Other days, I might do my best to head butt the person and cause serious pain. Or, I might just walk away with feigned deafness.This friend has a tremendously funny way of scolding me, hugging me, etc. with one gesture.



Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger (like the universal symbol for "ok") and then take your index finger from the other hand and stick in in the middle.

POP!

It's her quiet way of reminding me that life is different now. If I start a story with, "I used to ..." or "I have always done ..."

POP!

In some ways, we could not be more different. In many moments, I am slapped with the clarity of our sameness.