And Where Does the Apple Fall?

For those of you without a sense of humor or a sense of irony, I strongly advise you to come back another time. This story is not politically correct. But, it is true and it embodies the connectivity of parent and child -- even with a wicked sense of humor.

You've been warned.



The Humane Society of Indianapolis sent out a plea last weekend. It was on twitter and facebook and sent to those of us on the email list. The food pantry was bare. Like food pantries that many people rely on to feed their families, this pantry helps families keep beloved pets fed.

I knew what I could do. And I knew my parents would help. So, on Sunday morning, my dad and I are loading my trunk with pet food before services. As we walked into church, he said, "Your mom and I can't stand the thought of an animal in need." We started talking about how the commercials with lonely/lost/hungry/abused animals make us crazy. And he said, "We just turn the channel. Can't stand it." I agreed. I'm johhny fast on the remote myself.

As we walked through the parking lot that led us to worship, my dad said, "Those commercials with the starving children don't bother me nearly as much."

At that moment, I knew the apple had not fallen far from the tree.

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Note from author: I beg of you friends. My father would put his life on the line for any child, any dog, any person. Please see the humor and know that I am not showcasing him in any other way.

Dog Rules

We have a rule in our house that the dog is not allowed on the furniture. She has free reign to roam about the house. She is house broken and reasonably trustworthy. She has a perfectly comfortable bed in the laundry room and she often goes there to get away from us.

But, she has a wild side. It's almost like she wants to let us know that she will not be controlled. "Look at all these comfy places that no one is using!"



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We have a rule about no dogs on the furniture. Gabby did not get the memo.

A Dog for the Rest of My Life

I am a dog lover. Right now, I am into black labs but I love all breeds. I've had some great mutts and probably will have more. Do dogs have souls? We had this great discussion in Sunday School last week but I firmly believe they do. And, I believe they have the greatest capacity to love.

I've told you this story before but it bears repeating. When I was about 5 years old, I begged and pleaded for a dog. My mother, who had some dog issues, agreed with a few caveats:

not a puppy
housetrained
not huge

With my beloved grandmother as co-conspriator, we found the perfect dog: Candy.

Candy was with us until mid way through my college days. I miss her still. No offense to my other dogs but I think she will always be my favorite.

My parents have had oodles of dogs and I have loved them all. Well, that's not true. I was not crazy about Ashley whose idea of a good time was to bite everyone in sight. I tried very hard not to touch her.

The great thing about dogs is the one you own at the time is your favorite. Best dog ever! I miss the others but I am so grateful for the one at this time in my life. My Gabs, my friend, my dogger. And, Harriet, who lets me carry her around like a baby.


We dog people are drawn to cute sayings and cute stuff about our dogs. Here's one I read a couple of years ago about why people love dogs:

Dogs are angels here on earth. They carry a white light, a spirit. That is why people feel better after they've touched a dog. The dog has a forgiving soul and always thinks we are better than we actually are. You can tell them anything, and I mean ANYTHING, and they will always love you no matter what you have just told them. So perfect and beautiful in so many different packages, God knew what he was giving us with the gift of a dog. What a great world this would be if everyone could live up to be the great person your dog thinks you are.

I will always own a dog. Or one will always own my heart.

With a Full Heart

I am reading Katie Couric's book, which is a compilation of great advice from amazing people. Love her or hate her, she has tenacity and spunk. She has survived a great deal and seems to do it with an attitude of gratitude.

The book opens with a little story about her late husband who used to tell her that she must have been born on a sunny day. She calls it her greatest compliment -- the ability to see the glass half full, to find the silver lining -- fill in your cliche here.

Today I attended Palm Sunday service. I hugged people that I am blessed to hug pretty much every Sunday. Yesterday, I saw my friend come home from the hospital and she is doing well. Tomorrow, I go to a job that I waited a long time to come to fruition and I find I love it more every day.

A big dog welcomed me home with a big jump (Paws on the ground!) and a sloppy kiss. Lots of people claim to love me but no one shows me the love quite as demonstratively as Gabby.

I will put my palm above my doorway as a sign of Christian welcome. I will greet all who enter with that same spirit in my heart. And I will thank God for days like today when I am sure that I was born on a sunny day.

More Ponderings

I'm kind of stressed and one of my favorite ways to deal with it is let my mind run free. It can be fun and it can be dangerous. Feel free to weigh in.

When Bad things happen to Good People
I'm very scared about the health situation of a good friend. Actually, I have a couple of friends in scary health situations. It makes me angry. It frustrates the control freak in me. My minister told me it's perfectly okay and normal to rant and rave at God. Somehow, that made me feel better and guilty at the same time.

I Miss My Parents and my Other Dog
The time I spent living with my parents was truly a gift. We all knew it would end (we had no clue how it would end) but I truly miss my little bedroom, our teasing each other and the rediscovery of each other on a day-to-day basis. And their little dog stole a piece of my heart.

My New Job
I start my new job tomorrow. I'm nervous. I'm not afraid of my ability to do the job; I can handle it. It's more like a child on the first day in a new school. Will I fit in? Will they like me? How will I adapt to this total upheaval of my schedule?

Posture
I have always prided myself on my posture. All those years of ballet paid off in some way. And I've always ridiculed people, especially teenagers, with horrible posture. Tyler probably has permanent wounds from me poking him and hissing,"Stand up straight!" But lately I've got glimpses of myself in the mirror and I'm slightly slumping. What is that about?

Houses
Since we've reconciled, we have been making some changes to our house. With the market the way it is, we haven't decided if we're making these changes with the intent to sell or the intent to live here forever. We prefer the term "updating." It's an open proposition for now. But it feels good. I love this house. I love the changes we're making.

Shopping
Does anyone make reasonable clothing for a woman my age at a reasonable price? I refuse to dress like a teeny bopper and I'm not quite ready for stretchy pants and the sweatshirt with kittens and bunnies. Guess my current wardrobe is going to have to do for now.

And Next ...

My father and I have a running debate about using the term, "Next." Imagine it's a Wednesday and you refer to plans on next Saturday. In my mind, this is not the Saturday that is three days away; it is the one that is 10 days away. I'm talking about this Saturday. He thinks I am crazy.

His analogy is standing in line at the bank. When the teller yells, "Next!" you don't turn around and look at the person behind you. I get the logic but he is still wrong.

I'm truly struggling with what is next for me. Is it right in front of me or is it the hypothetical ten days away? I had several job interviews last week and one of them is a job I really, really want. I've had five interviews for this job. Yep, five. Let me tell you again, FIVE!

I have friends going through awful things... cancer, childhood diseases, bankruptcy, estrangement from their families, etc. You name it, I can tell you about it.

My little simple life seems ... well, simple. And I'm tempted to call the prayer chain to put myself on the list. That seems lamer than lame.

But if I don't get this amazing good fit of a job, I might have to take a vacation and breathe differently for a while.

Doggie Guilt

I don't believe in reincarnation but I've had more than a couple of people tell me that they'd like to come back to earth as my dog.

Since I've invaded my parents' home, I have become incredibly attached to their dog, Harriett. And I suspect they are crazy about mine. Their dog is a fluffy, needy-but-charming little thing. She looks like the dogs you see all the stars carrying through airports.

My dog is a workhorse. She has known from day one that I will take her everywhere she is allowed to go and some places I will just fake my way through it. My friends are either frustrated or kind or both but most say, "Bring Gabby!"

Neither dog is confused about ownership. But Harriett stalks me. She knows who feeds her, grooms her, etc. and it is not me. But she follows me and she paws at me. Then she looks at my parents as if to say, "Would you make that lady that walks a lot take me to the park?" And I do.

This weekend is the Mutt Strut and I really considered taking both of them. But Harriett's legs can only go a mile and I can't fathom maneuvering Gabby and carrying Harriett for the extra 1 1/2 mile. Plus, we might go out for drinks afterwards and I don't think my parents want Harriett in a bar.

I'm super careful with my money these days and the Mutt Strut is an event I totally support. Some women of my age and marital status might seek events with lots of men. That is kind of a nightmare concept for me.

But an event that supports a cause I believe in, plus I can walk my dog & meet up with girlfriends and their dogs ... sign me up!

I'll make it up to Harriett another time.

Secret Crush

The title might be redundant. Aren't all crushes secret? Otherwise all single people would act like third graders -- throwing spitballs and passing notes.

I have a little crush, a flicker of interest. And miracle of miracles, it's not on the man who has owned my heart for the better part of two decades.

It really doesn't matter if my crush ever notices me (but I hope he does.) It doesn't matter if we ever go out for coffee or brush knees in a movie (but I hope we do.)

What matters is I find myself thinking of him. I want to look nice in case I see him. I like hoping that he's as nice as he seems. I fantasize that he likes dogs.

The miracle is a heart that was crushed and pulverized now has a blip of feeling.

I've got a secret crush.

Believe in Blue

I started doing laundry this morning with one mission -- my lucky Colts sweatshirt must be clean for the big game on Sunday. We're all a little Colts crazy right now. Even the dogs have outfits to cheer on our team.

Go Colts.

Looking Back; Looking Forward

There's nothing wrong with walking along memory lane. It adds perspective and let's face it -- it's fun. But lately, I am trapped on that street. Time may not heal things but it's supposed to add perspective. I'm not sure about that either. With me, it's much easier to get wrapped up in the good times, the easier times, the days that I thought all was right with the world.

This is why we have girlfriends.

And parents. And dogs.

Did I mention I had a date last night with the love of my life? The man I have shared most of my adult life with and the man who is capable of evoking every emotion and feeling with a glance or a touch...

Scary stuff for the faint of heart.

I recently plopped myself in my minister's office. I pretended to talk about committee stuff for a while until I gathered the courage to ask him (again!) for guidance about my marriage and impending divorce. Like all talented and well-schooled counselors, he was useless. I believe he said, "You're looking for me to tell you what to do and I can't do that." (He's not useless -- that was a joke!)

What he said, and it resonated, was this:
"You've already made your decision. You just need to act on it."

Yes, I do know it's time to look to the future. I may never love another man the way I loved this one.

But who knows? Maybe some really good stuff is out there once I choose to look forward.

Tired and Cranky

Aren't there always days when you're tired of being tired? This is one of those days. I'm tired of wanting a cigarette. I'm tired of looking for a job. I'm tired of waiting for my divorce to be finalized. I'm tired of catching a glimpse of me in the mirror -- looking tired.

And yet, I've gone two weeks without a cigarette and I haven't killed anyone yet. I have a couple of promising job prospects. I have a meeting later this week that will bring the divorce closer to closure.

I'm starting to believe I'm one of those odd, ridiculously chipper people. I took my dog this evening to a small street festival. I ate bad food and listened to a band. I was the only one who started dancing.

I will never be too tired or cranky to dance.

Random Thoughts about TV

With too much time on my hands, I'm guilty of one eye on the television.

TV is truly one of my guilty pleasures and I admit I always anticipate the beginning of the new season. Yesterday I watched the premiere of the Dr. Oz show. He's the doctor who rose to fame with regular appearances on Oprah. I've seen him on Oprah a number of times and liked him but his show isn't going to make it. I don't care how knowledgeable or charming you are, it's pretty tough to make health care interesting for a solid hour every day.

I also watched Whitney Houston on Oprah. Well, I watched Part One. I think she's still as messed up as she was when she was married to Bobby Brown. I think Oprah is so in love with her that to call it an "interview" is a serious stretch. It was more of a mutual fan club meeting.

Jay Leno is not doing anything new or dramatic. His new show is nothing more than The Tonight Show airing 90 minutes earlier.

That's all I've caught but it's early yet. Now I must turn off the television and take some dogs for a walk.

Doodling in the Dew

Sometimes I go out with the dogs in the morning. I love being outside early. I love the promise of a new day.

The dew is beaded on the deck rails and everything feels crisp.

When my dad goes fishing, he leaves the house very early. But, I've noticed he doodles along the deck rails. Usually he doodles one word: Sandy.

Self Defense

Do you own a gun? I know lots of people who do. Some responsibly; some not. I'm very mixed on this issue.

I'm tired of watching the news and hearing of drive-by shootings or drug deals gone awry. On the other hand, I'm tired of learning of innocent people harmed. Would they have been better off armed?

This is on my mind because I am being cautioned a lot lately. At some point, I will be a single woman, living alone. I'm armed. I have pepper spray that I will eventually blind myself with. Or, confuse it with Binaca and have zero taste buds. I have a dog who will warn me of a disturbance and then in real trouble, lick the intruder to death. If he's smart enough to carry treats, (isn't everone?) she will just go move in with him.

What's our next job? Do I get more treats?

Truthfully, you'll never know what I decide about the gun thing. And, I'm making jokes about my dog because she will always follow me. You may or may not have treats in your pocket. But I am a sure thing.

Responsible Pet Ownership

During Hurricane Katrina, I had friends and family who went down to help. I had family who lost their home and jobs. I had friends who doled out food, water and the occasional cash gift. I had friends or people I knew who spent their time to help people and animals in a serious crisis.

Katrina's over but we still have an animal crisis. There will always be people who take pet ownership less seriously than I do. Or maybe you don't spoil them the way others do. Maybe they don't sleep in your bed. Maybe you get a little miffed at people who don't think it's ok that they come into your home and shed all over the place. I respect your feelings; I comply. Just be responsible if you choose to own one.

Last week, I had to deal with a dog in the park that had been dumped. He was scared and lonely and slightly aggressive -- probably because he was hungry. The week before, we had two pit bulls loose in our neighborhood. Again, lonely and hungry and not super aggressive. But (and this is big!) aggressive enough to scare a hearing-imparied woman who's just trying to get some exercise.

Please don't get a pet if you don't want it. Please don't dump a pet if you can't handle it. Please get your pet spayed or neutered -- we have enough out there that need a good home.
And when the two dogs of this house get a little pushy, I wish they had brains bigger than a peanut so I could explain how lucky they are.

Endless Possibilities

Remember earlier this spring when I wrote about wanting to be "In Bloom?"

Perhaps I might really be a Pollyanna. Although lots of people bother to tell me I am not. Confused? I am. But in a really good way.

I am seeing blessings and possibilities everywhere. And I am grateful.

My marriage is ending. It's been a huge chunk of my adult life -- I'm 46 and I started dating my husband when I was 27. Sure I'm sad but mostly I'm grateful for what we had and the ability to move on.

I still don't have the job of my dreams but through the occasional frustration I realize that more opportunities are coming my way every day. I've had some good interviews and some doors opening.

I've spent the last several months living with my parents and I would not trade the experience for anything. It is not for sissies! You better know yourself and have a darned good relationship before you climb aboard that boat. Lucky for me, the relationship I remembered from my childhood was a dim comparison to the one that has resurfaced.

Before you barf from the "good time Sheri" comments, I will admit that the dog gets a little damp sometimes. She's my occasional cry pillow but that's the price she pays for getting to sleep in the bed.

I'm enjoying reconciling things in my mind and my heart. I see love and enduring friendships. I see God at work in my life.

I'm not married; I'm not single.
I'm not young; I'm not old.
I'm not rich; I'm not poor.

I'm in the in-between spaces, wallowing in the in-between places and I'm loving the possibilities.

Word Games

You know I love word games. I do the crossword every day. I watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune (which will always be "Hangman" to me.)



My dog has been going to an obedience class. Of course, the class is really for me so I can learn everything I've done wrong and try to correct the error of my ways. All I know is we're both exhausted when it's over.

I've read several different opinions on how many words that dogs can really recognize and understand. I'm sure it varies by the breed and other factors. I just want my dog to master the basics. Maybe she needs some word games.

Sleeping Like a Dog

I often struggle with sleep. I have my routines and some nights they work more than others. Lately, I'm sleeping better.

I sleep with my dog, Gabby. She's a good sleeper -- the kind that gives you a friendly warning growl if you try to shove her over. She sleeps best when she's had lots of exercise.

Yesterday, we did our daily walk in the park. Then a friend stopped by with his dog and they ran around the back yard.


They had such fun that I loaded Gabby in the car and headed to their neighborhood so the play date could continue.

There was no need to count sheep last night. We both slept like dogs. Maybe we both need more exercise.

Abuse

While I was out of town last week, I started receiving a series of unsettling emails. The instruction was to Google a person's name to get the full details. (If I seem a little vague here, bear with me.) I know and trust the people who were feeding this information and I recognized the name they told me to Google.

This is a true story about abuse, written by someone who does not know all the facts. I know enough.

A man comes home. He has had too much to drink. He is an egomaniac and one of those insufferable men with a God complex. He has probably let his semi-celebrity status fuel his narcissistic tendencies. He and his wife argue.

Like me, she is probably no shrinking violet.

The anger escalates. The threats begin. Of course, an innocent animal is involved.

The official press version from his attorney is "He decided to clean his gun and it accidentally fired."

He shot the dog in the leg and as his wife cradled the poor animal in an attempt to protect it, the bullet went through the dog's leg and along her head.




Her eardrum was blown. She was in the hospital for several days and is now recovering from surgery. The dog also required immediate care.



There is so much abuse in this story I can barely handle it. But let me be up front about this much. This is not an unbiased opinion. This is not an attempt to be fair. This type of story or a similar one is played out every day in every city across this country.

No, I can't be unbiased in telling you this story for one reason.

The woman in this story is my cousin.

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

Welcome to my new blog site. I hope you will pop in regularly.

Years ago I started my first blog (www.livingwiththeoldies.blogspot.com) as a creative outlet while my elderly in-laws were living with my husband and me. After close to a thousand posts and many life changes, it is time to start anew.

Some use a blog as a daily journal of sorts. Others make political or social commentary. Still others have found an outlet for stream-of-consciousness thoughts. I have done all of these things and will undoubtedly continue.

This new blog represents a change. And change is my constant companion right now. My oldies, the in-laws I referred to, both passed away last year. The husband I referred to is soon to be my ex-husband. Another change. I am looking for full time employment. When that happens, I suspect that will change my life in many ways. And eventually, I will be moving and creating a new home of my own.

You'll still hear about some of the constants in my life: my parents and the rest of my family, friends and acquaintances and of course, my beloved big black Lab, Gabby.

Recently I spoke with someone who I have not seen since I was in high school. He told me I have a wicked sense of humor. I'm not sure that's true but I'll try to let it come through the screen now and then.

I can't really tell you why other people blog. I can only tell you that on certain days, writing is as crucial to me as breathing. I enjoy the process of taking a thought and communicating it in my own twisted way. And, I really enjoy it when you comment.

Welcome.