The Pull of the South

My roots are in the South.

I can still see my Uncle Ken preaching.
I see my Aunt Wanda in her kitchen asking all the men, "Four eggs or five?"
I want to sit on that front porch where my in-laws lived.

I am a firmly-planted Midwestern girl. When I travel, I become a chameleon. I love Manhattan and I love Mexico and the Caribbean. If you gave me a ticket to Europe or the Mediterranean, I'd be packed in 10 minutes and on the next plane.

The South has my pulse. I'm drawn to it...favorite memories and lots of my favorite people still live there. I was in a bookstore recently and noticed I am magnetized by southern writers.

I'm pretty sure I will live out the rest of my life in Indiana. But, I am happily headed south in a few weeks to visit one of my dearest girlfriends. I would visit her anywhere...Gosh, I think I have.

The fact that she's pulling me south is a spectacular benefit.

Whoa Betty!

I just saw The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. It's predictable and yet, worth it. It's funny and a feel-good movie when I suspect we all crave feeling good.

Betty White made the movie. I want to be like her -- in almost every character she plays. Everyone knows I love the TV series, The Golden Girls and no, I do not refer to my nearest and dearest friends as my goldies because of this show. But the show is hysterical and it has stood the test of time.

I really started to follow Betty White in the 70s when she played the man-starved harlot, Sue Ann Nivens, on Mary Tyler Moore. I wanted to be Mary and I wanted to know Sue Ann.

Fast forward a few decades and I have known a few harlots. I've known a few ditzy gals, like Rose on The Golden Girls. I've known some really cool old women. Betty White seems to be one of the coolest.

Pop Goes Reality

One of the greatest gifts that has been bestowed on me during this separation and divorce thing is a reconnection with an old friend. Before I take this too far and someone goes, "Whoa! I invited you over, I said you could stay here, I bought you a drink," let me say thank you and allow me to single out one friend among many.

She is one of my goldies but unlike the other two, I have not been a part of her life for oh so many years. I was not there as her children were growing and I did not call her with my life milestones. We cannot make up that time.

But just like with my other goldies, she gets me. We forgive a lot. Our expectations in this friendship are pretty damn high but our expectations of what the others should do with their choices in life are amazingly lenient. I have made the sad mistake of thinking other people in my life had earned this privilege (or I had earned it with them) but it is not true.

Sometimes people like to point out the errors of my ways. Let's be honest. Some days I'm more open to that than others. I might start blubbering and say, "Oh my gosh, you're right -- I completely messed that up!" Other days, I might do my best to head butt the person and cause serious pain. Or, I might just walk away with feigned deafness.This friend has a tremendously funny way of scolding me, hugging me, etc. with one gesture.



Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger (like the universal symbol for "ok") and then take your index finger from the other hand and stick in in the middle.

POP!

It's her quiet way of reminding me that life is different now. If I start a story with, "I used to ..." or "I have always done ..."

POP!

In some ways, we could not be more different. In many moments, I am slapped with the clarity of our sameness.